Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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