At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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