Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
