So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
