So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
