i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
