so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
