check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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