I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
