White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
