I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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