I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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