how can u be prego again
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i now understand why vodka
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
