wakey wakey hands off snakey
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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