her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
