you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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