Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you had me at cake vodka
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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