bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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