On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
