very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
either way he was missing a nipple.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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