There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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