I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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