..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
