Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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