drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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