My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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