I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
