Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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