Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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