You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
