Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
