i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Let's get the cat blown out
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
