Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
