I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
