Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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