We won't sleep together?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
