sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
