I'm drive I can fine osifer
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
50% drunk capacity currently
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
