How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
