Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
