So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
