I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
