I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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