why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
