About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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