Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
