She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
