Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
