Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
