I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Life is so much better after having sex.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
