Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
