Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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